How We're Building Financial Peace in Our Marriage
"The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender." - Proverbs 22:7
Can we have an honest conversation about money today? I know it's not always the most comfortable topic, but it's one that affects every area of our lives—including our marriages, our ability to be generous, and our overall peace of mind. Jake and I have been on quite a journey with our finances over the past few years, and I wanted to share what we've learned along the way.
When we got married, we thought we were doing pretty well financially. We both had decent jobs (I'm a stay-at-home wife these days), we weren't drowning in debt, and we generally paid our bills on time. But we also didn't have much of a plan, we were living paycheck to paycheck despite earning good money, and we certainly weren't prepared for any emergencies. Sound familiar?
Our Wake-Up Call
About two years ago, our car needed a major repair that cost over $2,000. We had maybe $500 in our savings account, and suddenly we were faced with putting this expense on a credit card or scrambling to find the money elsewhere. That's when we realized that despite having good incomes, we weren't actually in good financial shape at all.
It was humbling and honestly a little scary. We started asking ourselves hard questions: Where was all our money going? Why didn't we have any savings despite both working? How could we be better stewards of what God had given us?
This crisis led us to pick up Dave Ramsey's "The Total Money Makeover," and it completely changed how we think about money. But more than that, it led us back to what Scripture teaches about money management, stewardship, and contentment.
What the Bible Says About Money
Before diving into practical strategies, I think it's important to establish what God's Word teaches about money. The Bible has over 2,000 verses about money and possessions—more than it mentions heaven and hell combined! Clearly, God cares about how we handle our finances.
First, Scripture is clear that everything we have belongs to God. Psalm 24:1 reminds us that "the earth is the Lord's, and everything in it." We're not owners of our money—we're stewards, managers of resources that ultimately belong to Him. This perspective shift changed everything for Jake and me.
Second, the Bible warns against debt repeatedly. Proverbs 22:7 tells us that "the borrower is slave to the lender." Romans 13:8 encourages us to "let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another." While I don't think all debt is sinful, these verses certainly suggest that being debt-free should be our goal.
Third, Scripture emphasizes contentment and warns against loving money. 1 Timothy 6:10 doesn't say money is the root of all evil—it says the love of money is. Hebrews 13:5 instructs us to "keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have."
Finally, the Bible calls us to be generous. 2 Corinthians 9:7 tells us that "God loves a cheerful giver," and throughout Scripture, we see that generous giving is both a privilege and a responsibility for believers.
Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps: A Biblical Approach
When Jake and I discovered Dave Ramsey's approach, we were struck by how closely it aligned with biblical principles. His famous "Baby Steps" aren't just financial advice—they're a pathway to financial peace that honors God and positions us to be generous.
Baby Step 1: Save $1,000 for a starter emergency fund
This first step was honestly one of the hardest for us. Finding $1,000 to save when we were already living paycheck to paycheck felt impossible. But we got creative—Jake picked up some side work, I sold items we no longer needed, and we temporarily cut our budget to the absolute bare bones. It took us about three months, but when we finally had that $1,000 sitting in savings, the peace of mind was incredible.
Having this emergency fund meant we could handle small crises without going into debt. When our washing machine broke a few months later, we were able to pay for the repair in cash instead of putting it on a credit card. Proverbs 21:20 says, "The wise store up choice food and olive oil, but fools gulp theirs down." This emergency fund was our first step toward being wise with our resources.
Baby Step 2: Pay off all debt except the house using the debt snowball
This is where things got really intense. We listed all our debts from smallest to largest and started attacking them with everything we had. We had credit card debt, a car loan, and some lingering student loans. Using the debt snowball method, we paid minimums on everything and threw every extra penny at the smallest debt first.
The psychological victory of paying off that first credit card was amazing! It gave us momentum to keep going. Some people argue for paying off high-interest debt first (the debt avalanche method), but we found that the emotional wins from the snowball method kept us motivated during the tough months.
During this phase, we lived on a very tight budget. We stopped eating out, canceled subscriptions we didn't absolutely need, and found free entertainment options. It wasn't always fun, but we kept reminding ourselves of why we were doing this. Every month we could see progress, and that kept us going.
Baby Step 3: Build a full emergency fund of 3-6 months of expenses
Once we were debt-free except for our house, we focused on building a larger emergency fund. This took discipline because it's tempting to start lifestyle inflation once you're out of debt. But having 3-6 months of expenses saved gives you incredible peace of mind and the ability to weather larger storms.
We calculated our monthly expenses and decided to save six months' worth since I stay home and we rely primarily on Jake's income. This fund has allowed us to sleep peacefully knowing that job loss or major expenses won't derail our financial progress.
Practical Strategies That Have Worked for Us
Monthly Budget Meetings: Every month, Jake and I sit down together and plan our budget for the upcoming month. We give every dollar a job before we spend it. This has eliminated so many money arguments because we're on the same page about our priorities and spending.
The Envelope Method: For categories where we tend to overspend (like groceries and entertainment), we use cash in labeled envelopes. When the money's gone, we're done spending in that category for the month. It's been incredibly effective for staying on track.
Automatic Savings: We treat savings like a bill that must be paid. We have automatic transfers set up so money goes to savings before we have a chance to spend it elsewhere.
Regular Financial Check-ins: Beyond our monthly budget meetings, we have quarterly reviews where we look at our bigger financial picture—our progress toward goals, whether our budget categories are realistic, and what adjustments we need to make.
The Heart Behind the Numbers
While practical strategies are important, I've learned that money management is ultimately a heart issue. It's about trusting God as our provider, being content with what we have, and positioning ourselves to be generous.
Matthew 6:21 reminds us that "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." When Jake and I were constantly stressed about money, spending without thinking, and living paycheck to paycheck, our hearts were focused on material things and immediate gratification. Learning to manage our money biblically has freed our hearts to focus on eternal things.
Being good stewards has also positioned us to be more generous. When we were in debt and had no savings, we couldn't help others even when we wanted to. Now we're able to give generously to our church, support missionaries, and help friends and family when needs arise. There's incredible joy in being able to respond when God prompts us to give.
Challenges We've Faced
I don't want to make this journey sound easier than it is. There have been months when sticking to the budget felt impossible. There have been times when we've felt deprived watching friends take vacations or make purchases we couldn't afford. There have been arguments about spending decisions and moments when we questioned whether all this discipline was worth it.
But every time we've been tempted to give up, we've reminded ourselves of our why. We want to be faithful stewards of what God has given us. We want to have margin in our lives to be generous. We want to build wealth not for luxury but for legacy—to be able to support Kingdom work and leave an inheritance for our children's children, as Proverbs 13:22 encourages.
Where We Are Now
I'm happy to share that we've completed Dave Ramsey's first three baby steps and are now working on Baby Steps 4, 5, and 6 simultaneously—investing for retirement, saving for our future children's college expenses, and paying extra on our mortgage. It feels surreal to be in this position just a few years after that $2,000 car repair crisis.
More importantly, we have peace about our finances. We don't lose sleep over money anymore. We can be generous when opportunities arise. We're prepared for emergencies. And we're building wealth in a way that honors God and positions us to be a blessing to others.
Encouragement for Your Journey
If you're feeling overwhelmed by your finances, please know that there's hope. God cares about every area of your life, including your money. He wants to give you wisdom and peace in this area just like He does in every other area.
Start small. Maybe it's reading a book about biblical money management, having an honest conversation with your spouse about your financial goals, or simply beginning to track where your money goes each month. Don't try to change everything at once—sustainable change happens gradually.
Remember that this is ultimately about stewardship, not deprivation. God wants us to enjoy the good gifts He's given us, but He also wants us to be wise and generous with our resources. Finding that balance is a lifelong journey, but it's one that leads to incredible freedom and peace.
Proverbs 16:9 reminds us that "in their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." Make your financial plans, but hold them loosely, trusting that God will direct your path and provide for your needs.
Looking Forward
Jake and I are still on this journey, and we're still learning. We make mistakes, we have to adjust our plans, and we don't have everything figured out. But we're committed to being faithful stewards of what God has entrusted to us, and we're excited about the ways He might use our financial faithfulness to further His kingdom.
I'd love to hear about your financial journey. What challenges are you facing? What victories have you experienced? What questions do you have about managing money biblically? Please share in the comments—I truly believe we can encourage one another in this area.
Remember, friends: God is faithful, He will provide for your needs, and He has good plans for your financial future. Trust Him, be faithful with what He's given you, and watch Him work in ways you never expected.