How We Navigate Secular Media

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." - Philippians 4:8

Hey friends! Today I want to share something that Jake and I get asked about fairly often: how do we approach secular music, movies, and books as Christians? It's a topic that can feel complicated, and honestly, different families handle it in different ways. But I thought it might be helpful to share our perspective and the approach we've developed over the years.

We Don't Live in a Christian-Only Bubble

First, let me be clear: Jake and I don't exclusively consume Christian media. We listen to secular music, watch movies that aren't faith-based, and read books by non-Christian authors. But we don't approach these things carelessly or without thought.

I know some families choose to stick entirely to Christian media, and I deeply respect that choice. There's wisdom in guarding our hearts and minds carefully. But for us, we've found that God has given us discernment to engage thoughtfully with the broader culture while still honoring Him.

Our Filter: Does This Honor Christ?

The question we always ask ourselves is: "Does this honor Christ?" Not necessarily in an explicitly Christian way, but in a way that aligns with biblical values and doesn't pull our hearts away from Him.

When it comes to music, for example, we listen to plenty of songs that never mention God but celebrate love, beauty, hope, or human connection in ways that reflect His character. We avoid music that glorifies sin, degrades others, or fills our minds with darkness. It's not about the genre or whether the artist is a Christian—it's about the message and how it affects our hearts.

The same goes for movies and books. We look for stories that celebrate truth, redemption, courage, love, and other qualities that reflect God's heart, even when they don't explicitly mention faith.

Practical Questions We Ask

Here are some of the practical questions we've learned to ask ourselves:

For Music:

• Do these lyrics build up or tear down?
• Would I be comfortable singing along in front of Jesus?
• Does this music leave me feeling uplifted or dragged down?
• Am I being encouraged toward virtue or vice?

For Movies and TV:

• Does this story celebrate things God celebrates?
• How much darkness am I willing to wade through for the sake of entertainment?
• Is this content helping me love God and others better, or is it hardening my heart?
• Would I want my future children watching this with us?

For Books:

• Is this author helping me think more clearly about life and truth?
• Does this story inspire me toward goodness and beauty?
• Am I learning something valuable, even if I don't agree with everything?

The Beauty We've Found

This approach has opened up so much beauty for us! We've discovered incredible music that speaks to the human experience in profound ways. We've watched movies that explore themes of sacrifice, redemption, and love without being preachy. We've read books that have deepened our understanding of human nature and God's world.

Some of our favorite secular artists create music that honestly wrestles with life's big questions. Some of our favorite films tell stories of ordinary people choosing extraordinary courage. Some of our favorite authors help us see the world through different eyes while still affirming the dignity and worth of human beings.

When We Say No

Of course, this approach means we also say no to quite a bit. We turn off movies that celebrate what God calls sin. We skip songs that fill our minds with ungodly thoughts. We put down books that seem designed to tear down rather than build up.

And sometimes we have to make judgment calls. Jake and I don't always agree on every piece of media, and that's okay. We talk through our concerns and try to understand each other's perspectives. The goal isn't perfection—it's faithful stewardship of what we allow into our hearts and minds.

A Heart Issue, Not a Rule Issue

What I've learned is that this is ultimately a heart issue, not a rule issue. The same song might be helpful for one person and harmful for another, depending on where they are in their walk with God and what struggles they're facing.

The key is staying sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading and being honest about how different types of media affect us personally. If something consistently pulls your heart away from God or makes it harder to think about what is true and lovely, it's probably not worth keeping in your life, regardless of how "innocent" it might seem to others.

Grace for Different Convictions

I also want to say that families will handle this differently, and that's perfectly okay. Some dear friends of ours choose to stick primarily to Christian media, and their children are thriving. Other friends have similar approaches to ours. What matters is that we're each being faithful to how God is leading our individual families.

The enemy would love for us to judge each other over secondary issues like this, when the real question is: are we seeking to honor God with our choices and helping our families do the same?

A Journey, Not a Destination

Our approach to media continues to evolve as we grow in our faith and as our family situation changes. What felt appropriate for us as newlyweds might not feel appropriate when we have little ones running around. And that's okay—wisdom often means adjusting our practices as our circumstances change.

The beautiful thing is that God gives us His Spirit to guide us in these decisions. We don't have to navigate these choices alone or rely solely on our own understanding.

What About You?

I'd love to hear how your family approaches secular media! Do you have questions or filters that help you make these decisions? Have you found unexpected beauty in places you didn't expect? I'm always learning and would love to hear your perspective in the comments.

Remember, sweet friends, the goal isn't to have all the right rules—it's to have hearts that are increasingly aligned with God's heart. And He's so faithful to guide us as we seek to honor Him in all areas of our lives, including something as everyday as what we choose to watch, read, and listen to.