Why We Quit Social Media

"Wait, you're not on Instagram?" my friend Sarah asked, looking genuinely confused as she tried to tag me in a photo from our coffee date. "What about Facebook? TikTok?" When I explained that Jake and I had deleted all our social media accounts six months ago, her expression shifted from confusion to something approaching pity. "But how do you know what's going on with people?"

It's a question I've heard variations of many times since we made the decision to step away from social media entirely. In a world where maintaining an online presence feels almost mandatory, our choice to disconnect has raised eyebrows, sparked conversations, and honestly, brought us more peace than we ever expected.

Our Social Media Story

Jake and I weren't social media addicts in the traditional sense. We didn't spend hours scrolling daily or post constantly. But we were regular users—checking Instagram over morning coffee, scrolling Facebook during lunch breaks, watching TikTok videos before bed. It felt normal, even necessary for staying connected with friends and family.

The turning point came during a particularly challenging season in our marriage. We were both stressed about work, dealing with some extended family drama, and feeling disconnected from each other despite living in the same house. One evening, I looked up from my phone to find Jake on his phone, both of us scrolling silently on the couch instead of talking to each other.

"When did we become people who choose screens over conversation?" I asked him. That question sparked a deeper discussion about how technology was affecting our relationship, our mental health, and our spiritual lives.

The Biblical Case for Digital Minimalism

As we prayed about our social media usage, several biblical principles became clear:

1. Guarding Our Hearts

Proverbs 4:23: "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

Social media constantly exposes us to other people's highlight reels, political opinions, and carefully curated versions of reality. We realized that much of what we consumed online wasn't guarding our hearts but actually stirring up comparison, envy, and anxiety.

Philippians 4:8: "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

We asked ourselves: Does scrolling through social media fill our minds with things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable? Honestly, the answer was often no.

2. The Danger of Comparison

Galatians 6:4: "Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else."

Social media is built on comparison—comparing our lives, our homes, our relationships, our achievements to others. We found ourselves constantly measuring our reality against other people's edited presentations, which inevitably led to discontentment.

2 Corinthians 10:12: "We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise."

3. Being Present

Ecclesiastes 3:1: "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."

We realized that constant connectivity was robbing us of being fully present in our actual lives. When we were at dinner, part of our attention was on our phones. When we were having conversations, we were thinking about what we might post about it later.

Matthew 6:21: "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Our time and attention are treasures, and we were spending them on digital relationships rather than investing fully in our real-world relationships and responsibilities.

4. Avoiding Idle Words and Gossip

Matthew 12:36: "But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken."

Social media often encourages quick reactions, thoughtless comments, and sharing of information we haven't verified. We found ourselves engaging in online discussions that weren't edifying or helpful.

Proverbs 26:20: "Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down."

So much of social media revolves around sharing information about other people's lives, often without their knowledge or consent. We realized we were participating in a form of digital gossip.

The Practical Problems We Noticed

Beyond the biblical concerns, we started recognizing practical issues with our social media usage:

Mental Health Impact

Increased anxiety: Constant exposure to news, drama, and other people's problems created a baseline of anxiety in our lives.

Comparison trap: Even though we knew people only shared their best moments, we still found ourselves comparing our behind-the-scenes reality to their highlight reels.

FOMO (Fear of Missing Out): We felt pressure to document our experiences rather than simply enjoying them.

Sleep disruption: Evening scrolling was affecting our sleep quality and our bedtime conversations.

Relationship Challenges

Divided attention: We were physically present but mentally absent during important moments.

Superficial connections: We were keeping up with hundreds of acquaintances while having less deep conversation with close friends and family.

Conflict avoidance: It was easier to scroll through our phones than address difficult conversations or work through disagreements.

Time Management Issues

Mindless scrolling: What started as "just checking" often turned into 30-45 minutes of aimless browsing.

Fragmented focus: Constant notifications interrupted our work, prayers, and conversations.

Procrastination: Social media became our go-to distraction when facing challenging tasks.

The Decision to Quit

After weeks of prayer and discussion, Jake and I decided to take a one-month break from all social media platforms. We deleted the apps from our phones and agreed to evaluate how we felt at the end of the month.

The first week was harder than expected. We caught ourselves reaching for our phones dozens of times, only to remember there was nothing to check. We felt a genuine sense of withdrawal from the constant stimulation.

But by the second week, something beautiful started happening. We began talking more. We noticed things we'd been missing—the way the light hit our kitchen table in the morning, the sound of birds outside our window, the expression on each other's faces during conversations.

By the end of the month, we both felt clearer, calmer, and more connected to each other and to God. When it came time to decide whether to return to social media, the choice was easy: we didn't want to go back.

Life Without Social Media

Six months later, here's what our life looks like without social media:

Improved Relationships

Deeper conversations: Without the distraction of phones, Jake and I talk more and listen better. Our evening walks have become sacred time for sharing our days and dreams.

Better friendships: Instead of liking people's posts, we call them. Instead of following their lives online, we invite them over for dinner. Our friendships have become deeper and more intentional.

Family connections: We call our parents and siblings more often. When we visit, we're fully present instead of half-distracted by our phones.

Enhanced Spiritual Life

Better prayer life: Without constant digital noise, I can hear God's voice more clearly during prayer and meditation.

Deeper Bible study: I'm not interrupted by notifications while reading Scripture, and I'm not tempted to share verses for likes rather than truly meditating on them.

Increased gratitude: Instead of focusing on what others have, I'm more aware of and grateful for God's blessings in my own life.

Improved Mental Health

Less anxiety: Not being constantly exposed to everyone's problems and the world's troubles has significantly reduced my baseline anxiety.

Better sleep: Our bedroom is now a phone-free zone, and we both sleep more soundly.

Increased contentment: Without constant comparison to others, I'm more satisfied with our home, our lifestyle, and our pace of life.

More Intentional Living

Present moments: I'm fully engaged in conversations, meals, and activities without the urge to document everything.

Better time management: Without mindless scrolling, I have more time for reading, cooking, gardening, and serving others.

Clearer priorities: It's easier to focus on what truly matters when I'm not constantly bombarded with other people's agendas and opinions.

Addressing Common Concerns

"How do you stay connected with friends and family?"

We use phone calls, text messages, and email. We also see people in person more often. Yes, we might miss some updates, but we're having deeper connections with the people who matter most.

"What about your blog and business?"

I maintain my blog and Jake manages his work communications through email and professional networks. We've found that quality content and genuine relationships matter more than social media followers.

"Don't you miss out on important news?"

We stay informed through reputable news sources and trusted friends who share truly important information with us directly. We've found that most "urgent" social media news isn't actually urgent or accurate.

"How do people find your blog without social media?"

Word of mouth, search engines, and email newsletters have been more effective for building a genuine readership than social media ever was.

What We've Gained

The benefits of leaving social media have far exceeded what we expected:

Time: Hours each day that were previously spent scrolling are now available for meaningful activities.

Peace: Our minds are calmer without constant digital stimulation and information overload.

Privacy: Our personal moments remain personal instead of becoming content for public consumption.

Authenticity: We can be ourselves without considering how everything might look online.

Focus: We can concentrate on one thing at a time without digital interruptions.

Real relationships: Our friendships are based on actual interaction rather than online engagement.

Practical Steps for Digital Minimalism

If you're considering reducing your social media usage, here are some strategies that helped us:

1. Start with a break: Try a week or month without social media to see how it feels.

2. Delete apps: Remove social media apps from your phone to reduce temptation.

3. Create phone-free zones: Establish times and places where phones aren't allowed.

4. Find alternative activities: Replace scrolling time with reading, walking, or other meaningful activities.

5. Communicate your decision: Let friends and family know how they can reach you directly.

6. Focus on one platform: If complete abstinence feels too extreme, choose one platform and delete the rest.

Not for Everyone, But Right for Us

I want to be clear that I'm not advocating for everyone to quit social media entirely. Some people use these platforms in healthy, intentional ways that enhance their relationships and serve their purposes. Some businesses require social media presence, and some people find genuine community online.

But for Jake and me, stepping away from social media has been one of the best decisions we've made for our marriage, our mental health, and our spiritual lives. It's allowed us to live more intentionally, love more deeply, and focus on what truly matters.

The Biblical Foundation for Our Choice

Ultimately, our decision was guided by biblical principles rather than a specific command about social media (which obviously didn't exist in biblical times). We asked ourselves:

• Does this honor God? (1 Corinthians 10:31)
• Does this build up others? (1 Corinthians 14:26)
• Does this help me love my neighbor well? (Mark 12:31)
• Am I being a good steward of my time? (Ephesians 5:15-16)
• Is this helping me grow in godliness? (1 Timothy 4:7-8)

For us, the answer to these questions led us away from social media and toward a more intentional, present way of living.

Moving Forward

As we continue this journey of digital minimalism, we're constantly evaluating how technology serves our values rather than controlling them. We're not anti-technology—we use email, read blogs, and stay connected with people we love. But we're committed to using technology intentionally rather than letting it use us.

In a world that's increasingly connected but often disconnected from what matters most, choosing to step back from social media has been a countercultural decision that's brought us closer to God, to each other, and to the life we actually want to live.

Sometimes the most radical thing we can do is simply be present in our own lives. For us, that meant saying goodbye to social media—and hello to a richer, deeper, more meaningful way of living.